MY FIGHT WITH THE POLICE.

Nigerian policemen are starting to behave a little better now than before, like I just passed a police checkpoint (I thought the damn thing has been scrapped across the nation. I was surprised when the policemen there flagged me down gently and asked me to park by the side of the road. I did just that and was politely asked to step down from my car.

I came down and was told to open my boot, the contents were checked and it was locked back. Then my vehicle particulars and other identifying documents were verified. You can imagine my surprise when all my particulars were handed over to me with muffled apology for wasting my time! What, in Nigeria?

Let me now relate to you my experience at the same checkpoint last year. I was driving along and there was this heavy set up of logs, all set up to obstruct any driver. I was not stopped by the first set of policemen, so I drove along. Few meters on, all hell broke loose.

I was almost accelerating when a policeman in front of me lifted an AK47 and cocked it in my face, with his hand on the trigger, running back and shouting at the top of his voice to me, warning me to park or he will shoot me on the head, Jesus!

The look on his eyes meant exactly what he was saying, no be small thing at all! My mind rushed to all the accidental discharge cases where innocent civilians were shot in cold blood. I carefully parked and came down charging at the bastard! It was a big scene; I was hurling all kinds of abuse my mind could remember at the idiot.

I was asking why he should point a gun at me; we blocked all other traffic at the centre of the road. All other policemen rushed towards us, some annoyed at me, some at their colleague. We were exchanging words freely, I wanted to tell him where he belongs, he and me were raving and ranting for nearly two full minutes.

The argument was that they claimed I was stopped further back and I refused to stop, me? What for? I was never stopped! He was beating his chest and asking me out for a fight, I in turn asked him to remove his uniform and I will beat him silly, and you know what, he pulled his top vest, dropped his AK47 and advanced towards me. Only the intervention of more than six other policemen calmed us both.

Later I was making calls with my Blackberry handheld PC, ha! That got to them quickly that this might not be the normal poor Nigerian that they are used to. I called two big men, issuing instructions that my life was in danger.

They later calmed me down and started begging me to forget the incident, while the idiot that cocked his gun in my face was still ranting, apparently under the influence of one hard drug or the other. I later agreed to leave after the elderly officer in charge of that operation begged me to drop the issue and go home.

Nigeria, we hail thee!